Nine months. Wow. That’s a freakin’ pregnancy. An unplanned one. And so was this post…
I felt that the time came to rethink and make recap about what I’ve experienced lately. While I’m doing it, I’m carrying around my superslow netbook in my Italian house. I’m writing from the darkened down kitchen, to prevent the heat coming in too much, I’m throwing myself on the 80s couch in our livingroom, taken here back in 1996, when we were supposed to live here “forever”.
I’m even sitting on the floor upstairs, surrounded by my mom’s old LP, which I decided to bring back home with me. Oldschool wins.
What are you talking about?
I don’t know, seriously. I’ll probably see in the very end of this text if I want to publish it or decide that it’s just a good ton of emotional crap. And I might better dedicate myself to another ristretto on my patio surrounded by my autie’s dogs. There’s no noise here, just loads of organic food. The tomatoes were ready a couple of weeks ago and the sauce for the whole year was done, because, you know, pasta rules. Soon there will be time for wine making and this is topic number one in my grandma’s head. I love this. The simple things, watching how easy life could be made. Wake up, drink coffee, feed the animals, eat pasta, make siesta, check the garden, sleep again, day done.
This made me think. I know loads of people that can be happy with a routine. I can’t. Coming back once a year to Italy is something I love, especially when I need to be surrounded by calm and peace, but after ten days I have to go. I couldn’t stay “forever”. I have to move, go and see. I adore having my suitcase standing around in my apartment, knowing that I’m going to use it again soon. This sense of living out of it thrills my mind everytime. All my life in a maximum of 20 kilos. Amazing!
Wake up call
This is what I’ve done the past nine months. I went out last December and explored the planet. The travelling was supposed to last less than four months in order to come back to Switzerland and work. Well, fate wanted it otherwise, apparently. While I was still on the road I heard that I won’t have a car whan I’m back. Way too old to survive, my lovely Fiat. Surprise number two was my company hit by the Euro crisis and three of us had to leave, I was obviously one of them, three weeks after I started to walk around on Swiss ground again. Well, I was a wee bit shocked and confused, to be honest. It’s actually still a permanent state of mine, I catch my thoughts floating into nowhere from time to time. The only very focused thing I decided was that I won’t throw myself into a job I really don’t wanna do, but I desperately should take because the money is sweet. Nope. Writing was always something I loved, this blog was born because I always liked to share, and if my sharing could help you find some great places for you to see or some cool tunes to hear, there you go! Mission accomplished. So why shouldn’t I have taken advantage of this possibility?
While I’m trying to find my superjob, I also decided back in spring that I don’t wanna sit on my butt at home all the time while applying. So I continued to travel and come back in between, I saw a lot of European places and was the festival princess. Coming back to see my beloved was always sweet, but for me it’s still sweeter to know that I’ll leave again. I’ve heard it all, and the word “escaping” popped out of the most mouths while talking about my situation, I think. So here I am again, trying to explain that it isn’t. If I look back, my life was always on the move somehow. Born in Switzerland, moved to Italy, went back to Switzerland and then, five years ago, I took a couple of months off, went on my first big trip. Boom! I guess it’s like any other drug you take and you like it. Even coffeine. I couldn’t live without it after I wake up every morning. And so it’s moving, so it’s travelling, so it’s wanderlust. It takes you or it doesn’t. Love it or leave it.
The sensation of being around everywhere, it’s the greatest thing for me. I am mostly a lover of summer, the heat is my best friend. I saw so many,crazy, beautiful sunsets. A good bunch of them were shared with people I love. It was like February, and this feeling of having a permanent summer was amazing. Still, I have to go back sometimes, it feels right. Switzerland, a country that embraced my Italian family and gave work. See my friends. I couldn’t be without them. Does it feel like home? No. Italy, place where my dad decided to come back, to live in the dream house he made and paid with no loan. The weather and the food. Does it feel like home? No. Every other place I’ve seen. I liked almost every one of them. Did I find a place where I wanted to settle? No.
Why? Don’t ask it, I don’t know it. I like to think that I’m home everywhere I go. Everywhere I fly. This planet has so many wonderful corners, I’m not even sure to see them all. How can you decide? And I hope that I’ll have other travellers confirming that. It’s being in a clinch, but in some way it feels great. The clinch of wanderlust. Ha!
I came home a couple of hours ago from the South Italian bayside. I had some beautiful morning swims and stared again to the most beautiful sunsets. They were pink every evening. I had great red wine and talked about music with people until late night. It felt great. I had my last salty water walk this morning. Tomorrow afternoon I’ll be back in Zurich and this time there is no plan fixed on which beach I’ll see next. For the first time after nine months. It’s a weird feeling and I wanted to share this weirdness with you even if it’s maybe a wee to personal. There was some insecurity in the air. I forgot how a winter breaking in can be like and I have to prepare myself to settle for a while. Just a tiny while.
And now that I’m done writing this down, I’m laughing my tiny butt off and I feel a bit stupid about my luxury problem – the endless summer ending. Seriously, I’m sorry, but it had to get out. I still have so many stories to share with you, I will attend some great venues this fall and winter, even if I’ll be wearing a coat. And I know that as soon as I’ll be getting used to the cold, I will already know where my next flight will take me.
Thank you for embracing my weirdness and honesty.
Enjoy wanderlust responsably.
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